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Agile Theatre Bingo: When Standups Become Stage Plays

Your agile transformation has turned into performance art where everyone knows their role, but nobody remembers why they're on stage. Print this bingo card and make your ceremonies bearable.

Author

The Cranky PM
July 14, 2025

TL;DR: Your agile process has become an elaborate cargo cult where everyone performs the rituals hoping that good software will magically appear. The rituals have replaced the religion. The ceremony has consumed the substance. Print this shit out and at least have fun while your soul dies.

Table of Contents

Print this out. Laminate it. Keep it handy during your next "quick sync" that somehow lasts 47 minutes. When you get five in a row, you win the right to question whether this is really how humans should spend their finite existence on Earth.

Your agile transformation has turned into performance art where everyone knows their role but nobody remembers why they're on stage.

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  1. Classic Agile Shitshow

  2. Enterprise Clusterfuck

  3. Facilitator Sabotage

  4. Bonus:

    1. Ceremony Addiction Cost Calculator

    2. How Dead Inside Are You? Self-Assessment

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